I watched my youngest son, Bryce, enjoy his friends and family as he skated with them at Skateland, a local skating rink, for his birthday. It was truely a tear jerker for me. For those that know me know I am and can be an emotional train wreck. However, my eyes did not tear up because of sadness rather for happiness. That might sound a little strange considering the difficult times that he and his brother are going through watching Helen and I go through seperation. I am not saying that I am happy that we are going through this. What I am saying is that my emotions overwhelmed me with pride because of the way that Bryce and Benjamin are handling it, and with the way that they are conducting themselves.
You hear horor stories all the time of what terror kids turn into when they watch their parents go through seperation and divorce. They do not turn into hellans because they are bad kids, but because they are stuck in the middle of ugly adults doing spiteful things in those trying times. I am not saying that our boys are perfect angels, far from it. They are however being gentelmen. I watched them both today as they skated and how they interacted with their friends and family. Bryce and Benjamin both do well skating. Bryce although younger is a little more advanced then Benjamin is. I watched them both on numerous occasions go out of their way to help a friend that was a lesser skater. Whether it be to help them up or to hold their hand as they skated around the rink. I even witnessed them be courteous to one another. It was then that it doned on me to really watch how they conducted themselves. I heard words and phrases today like please, thank you, can I help you up, Dad can we help Tucker skate, and Dad I will hold your hand when I said that I could not skate very well. I heard these words spoken with sincerity from a 7 and 8 year old.
I can honestly say that I have never been prouder. These two young boys are growing into well behaved young men right before my eyes. They are doing it with the burden of having to deal with the structure of their family come down around them. I think it is a testament to the souls and spirits that these two young men have. Nonetheless, I also believe that it is a testament as to how Helen and I are handling it and conducting ourselves. Neither of us are placing any more undue stress or burden on them than they, I am sure, are alreading dealing with. There is no blame or fault put on them by either of us which commonly happens in situations like this.
This is a very difficult time for us no doubt, but we both know that the outcome has to have those two boys and the men they will become placed above all. With all that may be wrong with Helen and my relationship the one thing that is right and common are those two young men. No matter what happens or what direction our lives go this will always remain. We love these boys, and the men they will become.